


Leaving it Behind

by OceanTheSoulRebel



Series: Escaping the Cage [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-15 00:54:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15401364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OceanTheSoulRebel/pseuds/OceanTheSoulRebel
Summary: The first steps away from home are the hardest.Good thing the Circle isn't home.





	Leaving it Behind

The boat bobbed on the lake’s surface, its master Kester waiting at the end of the dock. Both ferry and ferryman loomed before her - an intimidating liminal space between the imprisoning certainty of the Circle and… 

Her hand crept to the neckline of her tunic, twisting under the heavy weight of her cloak. Stomach churning, heart pounding, the waters seemed to yawn before her, the lake dark and turbulent as her mind. A bead of nervous sweat dripped down the nape of her neck despite the early morning chill.

“Wait, I… I need a moment. Please.” 

Duncan turned, his dark eyes obscured by his cowl; she could still feel their weight, their critical gaze on her face despite their shadow. He shifted on his feet, taking in the bleak tower behind them before focusing on her once more. 

“Take all the time you need, Surana.”

Ilya’s knees threatened to buckle. She leaned on her staff, its flat end digging into the loamy ground of the island. Beside her, the winds whipped at the lake, tossing white-capped waves against the shore. The breeze fluttered through her hair, and she closed her eyes. 

For all their dreams of escape, actually being here - outside the tower, even the scant few feet away that she was - had her blood pounding nervously through her veins, adrenaline and trepidation fighting for control of her limbs. Fingers and toes struggled for warmth within the leather confines of gloves and boots, run cold with a latent fear. 

Her ears strained for the sound of plate metal, of those massive double doors creaking open on ancient hinges, for the shouts and Silences that would surely come. It would come, at any moment. 

“Surana… You can let that go. You’re safe, you’re safe with me. I’m not going to hurt you. You’re safe.” 

Ilya snapped up to find Duncan’s gaze on her face, his hands spread before him. Placating. Placating? Flickering light glinted in the corner of her eye, and -

Ah.

She took a breath and dropped the spell, the lightning crackling back down into her skin, shining in her fingertips for but a moment before dissipating fully. 

“I…sorry about that.” Ilya pursed her lips and steeled herself. She wouldn’t fall. She wouldn’t fall to her knees, dig her hands into the earth beneath them. She wouldn’t dash off into the waters of Lake Calenhad, and she wouldn’t scream and shout and cry. 

“Are you okay?”

 _No,_ she wanted to say.  _My best friend is a blood mage, I let myself be manipulated by said blood mage, and my only freedom is a new kind of prison. Some mage I am, proving to the Chantry exactly why we need to be kept prisoner, protected from ourselves._

_Not that the prison created the need for escape._

“I’m… I’ll be fine,” she said shakily. Ilya wiped her hand across her cheeks. Well, she wouldn’t scream and shout, at least. 

She blamed it on the errant waves, crashing foam and water coating her face, in the middle of a dry patch of earth. 

One foot in front of the other. Ilya passed Duncan’s assessing consideration and stepped onto the noisy planks of the docks. 

She didn’t think of the way she trembled with every step.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on tumblr at [ocean-in-my-rebel-soul!](https://ocean-in-my-rebel-soul.tumblr.com)  
> 
> 
> Comments and concrit always appreciated! Thank you for reading!


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